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Bike LogoIt is just best if you lighten up and laugh!

I have never met Deep Friar in person, he is a blogging friend. I can only tell you a few things about him which are: he lives in the snowy, eastern realms of Canada, he draws with creative talent, he travels with his wandering bear, and his comments on other blogs are very insightful. He and his buddies are so knowledgeable about so many interesting things and he can make me laugh out loud.

Deep Friar out right told me that water mills coming off the roof of my house would not work and then explained in plain English why not. I was very grateful to learn this before posting something on this blog that would have provided great embarrassment to the BikingArchitect.

The other day my posts were just not coming together and I was tunnel – visioned on making them work, when I came across Friar’s post and comments. I just lightened right up and immediately asked him if he would guest post here on this blog. He said “yes”….as long as I did not embarrass him – who me?

I hope you find a chuckle or two here – I now offer up Deep Friar’s words…

Being Anti-Green: 26 Tips on how to Screw the Planet

  1. Stick to the Two-Thousand Mile diet. Refuse to eat any food unless it’s shipped in from three time zones away.
  2. Instead of a turkey, celebrate Thanksgiving with a California condor.
  3. Invent a religion that discourages overpopulated Third World countries from using birth control (no, wait..I think someone’s already done that!)
  4. Bring back lead paint and asbestos. (If it was good enough for us, then it’s good enough for today’s damned spoiled kids!)
  5. Make particle-board IKEA furniture, using only old-growth mahogany.
  6. Build a huge electric fan, and have it blast air in the opposite direction, right behind a wind turbine. (Heh heh heh…! The next effect is ZERO!)
  7. A ski hill in the desert. We definitely need to see more of these.
  8. Grow pineapples in greenhouses in Alaska, then export them to Ecuador.
  9. Run your electric heater and air conditioner in your house at the same time, and let ‘em fight it out.
  10. Generously stock every lake in North America with carp.
  11. Build paved roads to each of the high points of the Lower 48. Now everyone can enjoy bagging the peaks (and not just the hikers and moutain climbers)
  12. Collect rainfall in Arizona, store it in barrels, and Fed-Ex them to Antarctica. This not only wastes energy, but as a bonus, it permanently removes precious H2O from the drought-stricken Colorado River watershed. (Thanks to Brett for suggesting this one).
  13. Sell disposable, one-time use Recycle Blue-Boxes.
  14. Spread the joy, and keep the spirit of Christmas going all year around. Keep your outdoor lights burning 12 months a year.
  15. Just for shits and giggles, re-engineer the electric generating turbines in hydro dams so they act as MOTORS, and pump that sunnavabitch water right back uphill.
  16. Convince the Japan that the best sushi comes from blue whales.
  17. Convince factories in China there’s a great demand for lead-tipped baby pacifiers.
  18. Dredge the Gulf Coast, and make a huge pile of sand in the middle of the ocean. Encourage rich retirees to build million-dollar homes on it, just in time for hurricane season.
  19. Randomly pick an animal, any animal. (Moose, chameleon, three-toed sloth…etc.) Then try to wipe it off the face of the planet. (Bet you we could, too!)
  20. Rent a cabin in the woods. Bring an electric generator and use it to power one of those fake electric fireplaces. (You know, the ones with the plastic logs and rotating orange lights.)
  21. Design disposable cell phones that are good for only one call, then you throw them out. Market this to teens, as the next “Cool” thing to have. (Actually, these would probably sell.)
  22. Develop a Hummer that runs on whale oil.
  23. Become a strict Meat-a-tarian.
  24. Design a simple automatic rifle, that even chimps can learn to use. Train them to do so, arm them, and then release them back into the wild.
  25. Use crushed coral as filler material when re-paving the Interstate.
  26. Start a charity web-site, using Google ads to raise money for your favorite military dictatorship. Every time someone clicks on the box, El Generalissimo gets one dollar.

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Tue, March 24 2009 » Inspiration

6 Responses

  1. Friar March 28 2009 @ 9:49 am

    NOBODY commented here?

    Okay..then I will. (Even though I wrote this post!) 😉

    Friars last blog post..Suitable for covering your floor with…

  2. Tom March 30 2009 @ 2:01 pm

    Friar,
    this is what I mean. I write on at least 6 architects blogs/websites a week for 4 months now and they never make comments! What’s up with this?

  3. Friar March 30 2009 @ 5:07 pm

    Tom

    I find the number of visitors and comments often has little to do with the actual content and quality.

    Blogging tends to be a big popularity contest, like high school.

    Everyone tends to go to the “Cool Kids” blogs, and find out what the latest flavor-of-the-month is.

    This is a good blog. Stick with it. It might take time, but slowly and steadily, you’ll pick up more and more readers.

  4. Brett Legree March 30 2009 @ 5:55 pm

    This is a good blog. Friar put me on to it, I’m the Brett he mentions above.

    Just keep writing, you are unique, and you’re writing about something interesting, not just how to make money from blogging or selling snake oil.

    Re: #12, this was from an article I’d read where people were being warned not to collect rainwater for their lawns because it “legally belongs to the river authorities” or something. Huh? Umm, if it falls on my yard, it’s mine!

    Brett Legrees last blog post..full circle.

  5. Patricia March 30 2009 @ 6:39 pm

    Brett,
    thank you for coming on by and yes I think this is fun stuff…I like learning all these new things

    Our whole city waters with rain, lake, and recycled water…non drinkable water. The folks in charge try to get people not to put fertilizers etc. on their lawns and all the street drains have warnings that that water is heading for fish turf so do not dump into the drains.
    People do not realize that shampoos and laundry soaps kill our beautiful environment too
    Arizona is running out of water big time…
    lots of fighting over water – maybe what that article was about.
    Welcome – hope you will come by again

    Patricias last blog post..“When the Dog Bites, When the Bee Stings…”

  6. Tom March 30 2009 @ 6:50 pm

    Friar,
    Thank you for the good words of advice. If you go around to some of the architectural blogs you will see that they too have no comments – so there is no way to make connections except to drop by daily or weekly.
    No dialogue. This is okay too as it reinforces the need for communication on bigger levels than just competition, particularly if we are going to design an eco-friendly future.

    Toms last blog post..“When the Dog Bites, When the Bee Stings…”

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